Everything you Need to Know to Host Your First Thanksgiving
…or Friendsgiving! The following posts includes information regarding planning timeline, activities, decorations, recipes, and more so that you can get a head start hosting this year. This post may contain affiliate links. Click here to read our disclosure policy.
Friendsgiving is a party where people host Thanksgiving (always on the fourth Thursday of November), typically earlier in the month and with friends.
This year, I hosted my very first Friendsgiving. Previously I have participated in Friendsgivings, but never hosted it in my own home. I think that is because I also like to give my friends a chance to host, and Friendsgiving, in some ways, is a more straightforward party to host. The menu is already set, you already have a good idea of recipes or people to ask for recipes, and the decor can be how you might already decorate your home for the season.
Since I was hosting Friendsgiving for the first time, I was curious to see if it felt more or less difficult than hosting a regular dinner party, and the answer was it was easier because I didn’t make all of the food myself (which I typically do for dinner parties). It was essentially a fancy potluck, and I used the extra time I had to make more complicated table settings.
I’ve heard so many hosts refer to Thanksgiving as their “Superbowl,” and I’ve been thinking about why that makes sense. Most guests come to Thanksgiving laden with their own nostalgia and traditions, so the competition is fierce. There is a familiarity with most elements of the menu so that people really know when something is or isn’t good (or the best they’ve ever had, which is a title I strive for when I cook for people). Thanksgiving is arguably the kick off for the holiday season where people associate with a lot of decor and extravaganza.
As I’ve gotten older, I have loved contributing a twist on something familiar to our Thanksgiving tables, like this squash gratin or a more complicated dessert I would ordinarily never make throughout the year.
When I searched the internet for help on how to actually host Thanksgiving for the first time, I couldn’t find anything that took me through the entire process from start to finish. How much turkey should I buy? How do I prep? What should I tell people to bring? How do I decorate? What can I do to keep the kids entertained? Starting from scratch all of the prep took me about 18 hours to research and pull everything together. And because making hosting easier is my thing, I put together this post so that you can do it too (but in less time).
Planning Timeline
Three to four weeks before the party
Before you send out invites, decide what you’re making. As a host you should always plan on making the main protein. I also like to make a signature drink, but if you have a friend who loves to make drinks, you can invite them to bring that instead of food.
Invitations: I sent mine a week in advance after having gathered availability from my guests. I like to make my invites on Canva, and send them out through text. I definitely recommend scheduling this on a Saturday or Sunday, where people have most of the day off to prepare, and you can start earlier if there are small children. Though if you are a bunch of people with no kids then a midweek celebration could be fun too.
Signing up for food: Let them know it is a potluck in the invitation or text by saying “Let me know what you want to bring!” and give them a couple of options if needed. Each guest should bring 1-2 things, and you can ask a guest to bring disposable plates and silverware if you know they aren’t huge on cooking.
How to decide who to invite: When you host a party potluck style, it is easier to invite more people because you’re not making all of the food. Your biggest limiter will be space. If you’re trying to decide if you will invite one more person or family of four, I would say invite them so they don’t feel left out. If you’re looking at adding 8-10 more people, and you really don’t have the space then invite them to the next one.
Should I invite kids? For Friendsgiving, I think it totally makes sense to invite kids. If there is only one or two of the couples with kids, you can leave it up to them to decide if they want to bring their kids, but I’d say be more strict with a no kid policy on other types of dinner parties. Your friends will thank you for not having to arrange for a babysitter, but if they need the break, they won’t hesitate to hire one either.
If everyone who is coming, or at least half of guests have younger children, consider a start time of 3:30 PM. This will mean that you can sit down for dinner before 5 when the kiddos really start to lose their mind and start asking for snacks every five minutes. People will probably leave by 6:30 or 7 which means no one will be kept up late by attending the party, and will have fonder memories of it (ie: more likely to want to do it again).
Signing up for food: I had an idea of what I wanted to make, so when I sent the invitation, I said “Let me know what you want to bring!” Typically people ask what is needed, and I will give them a couple of options of the things I didn’t want to make.
Menu inspiration: As I have gotten older, I’ve been looking for new twists on classic recipes. If you need inspiration, check out my Pinterest board for ideas for appetizers, sides, mains, drinks, and dessert. Read more about the items on the menu below.
Decor & set up: Because I didn’t have to make all of food, I found myself with extra time that I chose to spend on making name cards for all of the adults
Here is the tutorial I used to dry oranges, the 24 hour dry time is key before baking to help them not burn in the oven
This is the blog post that I used to inspire the place cards
The napkins were thrifted (from Judy’s estate sale), but you can find similar ones here.
The taper candles are an amazing deal from Trader Joe’s
The tablecloth is from Target
The plates are Famiware on Amazon
The silverware I use every time I host and are from Jazzupco
The Kid’s Table
For kids under seven, I recommend doing paper plates and plastic silverware (you can do that for everyone for easier cleanup, but I definitely recommend doing that for kids so you don’t have to worry about them breaking)
We had a kid’s table that was adjacent to the adult table, and a high chair for the baby next to his parents.
The kid’s table was our coffee table and play table put together, and we used a combination of kids chairs, ottomans, and floor cushions for seating
We covered the kid’s table with brown kraft paper, and had a few painted mini pumpkins for decoration, and a small bucket of crayons for them to color with. I like to draw shapes related to the theme for kids to color in.
I used some leftover Fall themed napkins that I used to make Napkin Turkeys, which were cute, but didn’t last long (and I was okay with that). You can find the tutorial I used to make them here.
Entertaining the kids: We did a scavenger hunt, and the winner got the wishbone, which I dried out in our toaster oven before they left. You can purchase the scavenger hunt here, and Instagram subscribers have free access to it.
Keeping everything warm: Someone recently reached out to me and told me they purchased this warming mat, which has fairly high reviews. It is a good solution if you are hosting potluck style, have limited oven space, and your turkey tends to take longer than expected. Be sure everyone bringing warm dishes knows that you plan to use this mat so that they bring their food in the heat resistant container.
For this party, we kept everything warm by having insulated carriers, like this one, and keeping the lids on. I also made the stuffing and gratin, and pulled them out of the oven just before they were eaten (I had timed it so that they would be baked after the turkey is out of the oven and resting). The gravy was transported in an insulated water bottle (a thermos would work great for this). The turkey, according to Gordon Ramsay does not need to be warm, but my preference is that it has been out of the oven for around an hour, and the hot gravy will help liven it up a bit.
The Day Before:
Plan on making desserts if you have room in your fridge or elsewhere to store
Cleaning your house: Bathrooms, floors, and surfaces (dusting and cleaning windows) are good places to clean
Send a confirmation text like this, “Hey everyone! Excited for tomorrow. You can park across the street or on the curb in front of my house. Here is my address (if they haven’t been to your home often), let me know if you have any questions!”
Write a to do list for the day of hosting, and go over it with your hosting partner if you have one, so they know how they can help you throughout the day.
Menu:
I did make a lot more of the menu than I would usually recommend, and there were guests who offered to bring another item. However, since I was excited to try these recipes, and they could be made somewhat in advance, so I knew it would be fun and manageable for me to do.
I decided to make the following:
Turkey: My first time making turkey turned out amazingly well! I used this recipe recommended by my brother, who has made the turkey for my family the last few years. I noticed that she underestimates the cook time, so use the calculation of 15 minutes per pound to determine how long your turkey will need in the oven. I used this recipe, and found that the turkey turned out great.
Cranberry sauce: My favorite recipe is by Gordon Ramsay, and can be found here. It is an elevated and complex version of the traditional canned version, and can be made up to three days in advance.
Wild mushroom stuffing: I didn’t know that I liked stuffing until I tried this unparalleled version at a Friendsgiving a few year’s back. You can find it here from Gaby Dalkin, and she also has a few variations on her website if mushrooms aren’t your thing. It is a little bit of a labor of love due to all of the chopping, but it is so delicious I sometimes choose to make this over a dessert, it’s that good.
Applesauce jello: All it takes to make is applesauce (in place of the cold water), hot water, and a box of jello. My husband’s family makes this for every get together, and I served it at Friendsgiving for both the novelty and a kid friendly option. The best jello’s to make this with are cherry, lime, and strawberry. If you are curious what it tastes like just imagine eating applesauce that’s also jello (no, really, that is the best description). It needs a longer time than standard jello to set (at least 8 hours in the fridge) so this is a great thing to make the day before, and comes together in minutes.
Gluten-free pumpkin cake with whipped cream frosting: The original version of this recipe from Sally’s Baking Addiction is not gluten-free, but I have found cakes convert to gluten-free beautifully when you replace the flour for gluten-free flour, and add a little bit of xantham gum. The “frosting” recipe, I borrowed the technique of using a food processor to stabilize the whipped cream, and added 1/4 cup each of cream cheese and powdered sugar to sweeten.
Rosemary pecan pie: This pie was the recipe that helped me sea that I did like pecan pie. There are two notable differences in this recipe compared to most American versions: 1) This recipe includes rosemary (which pairs so well you’ll wonder why all pecan pie doesn’t have it); and 2) The recipe uses golden syrup instead of corn syrup. Golden syrup is less sweet, and can be made at home and lasts for years. My favorite recipe for golden syrup is here. I will post the rosemary pecan pie recipe soon too!
Squash gratin: Gratin is basically a cream and parmesan sauce poured over a vegetable and baked in the oven at a high heat until set. I used this recipe, but skipped the frizzled sage, though I’m sure that would have been diving, I just ran out of time.
Other items on the list:
Mashed potatoes & gravy (the person doing the turkey can do the gravy too)
Apple or pumpkin pie
Salad
Rolls
Appetizer: This doesn’t have to be a super filling, just something to much on while people
Roasted vegetable like carrots or brussels sprouts
Macaroni and cheese (we didn’t make this but you could)
Drinks: I offered sparkling water, Honest Juice boxes for the kids, wine, beer, and Fall Sangria
Fall Sangria with fancy ice cubes: Sangria is the perfect drink for a party, and it comes together by just dumping the ingredients into a pitcher. Here is the recipe I used:
1 bottle red wine blend (Rain Cloud from Trader Joe’s)
12 oz pomegranate juice
3/4 cup vermouth
24 oz ginger beer
Cranberries, orange slices, and pomegranates frozen in ice cubes and orange slices to garnish
Mix it all together in a pitcher and serve with a decorated ice cube
What about the turkey?
How much turkey do I need? 1-1.5 lb per guest (1.5 lb is if you want leftovers, and I basically excluded the kids from the calculation knowing they wouldn’t eat that much turkey)
How long does it take for the turkey to thaw? Plan for 24 hours fridge defrost for every 3-4 pounds. You can also thaw for a couple of hours in room temperature water in the sink. Be sure to replace the water if it gets to cold. I thawed for 4 days in the fridge, and then had it sit in water for an hour (with the
How long does it take for a whole turkey to bake? About 15 minutes for every pound, then let it rest for 30 minutes before carving.
Do I have to make a whole turkey? I would say especially for Friendsgiving, no you do not. You could choose to make a half turkey, braise the turkey, or even make whole chicken.
Where can I buy a turkey? My Friendsgiving was more than two weeks before Thanksgiving, so I had to call around to find a grocery store that had one, and it was frozen. Costco and Trader Joe’s don’t start stocking turkeys until about two weeks before Thanksgiving.
Timeline of the Party for an early start
3:30 PM: The party begins
4:00 PM: Start the scavenger hunt or kids activity
4:45 PM: Sit down for dinner
5:15 PM: Turn on the television for kids (check with parents before offering this), we decided to watch Trash Truck Christmas episode along with a few more episodes for a total of one hour of television.
5:45 PM: Serve dessert
6:30/7:00 PM: Guests go home. The advantage of having a lot of guests with small children is that they go home early, and you have more time to clean up after they leave.
Timeline of the Party for a Dinner Time Start
5:00 PM: The party begins
5:45 PM: Activity or game if you have one (or after dinner)
6:00 PM: Sit down for dinner
7:00 PM: Dessert
7:30 PM: Activity after dinner and dessert
9:00 PM: Guests go home
How to make Thanksgiving feel special
Light candles
Use real plates and silverware
Serve a signature drink or cocktail
Where a little bit nicer clothes than usual
Have name cards, this is the tutorial I used alongside this tutorial for drying the oranges
Play music, you can find the Spotify playlist here, this one has a little bit of a few different genres and is over four hours long.
Budget
Groceries, including the ones I already have, and the ones that I didn’t end up using (like extra drinks), I probably spent around $150. This number could have been much less if I asked the guests to bring two items each, but there was more that I wanted to make as well, so I did.
Decorations: This is highly variable based on what you already have. Vellum paper, and paint pens was all that I had to purchase, which came out to $25. I recommend setting a budget for yourself every time you host ($25-$50), and buying mostly things that you can reuse, like wine glasses or linens up to that amount. If there are essentials, then consider asking a family member or guest if you can borrow from them.
Some twists on Friendsgiving:
Dessert only theme, and have people vote on their favorite. If you do this, serve a couple heavier appetizers and drinks alongside.
Do a leftovers version with rolls and turkey pot pie or soup
Make it “Frenchgiving”—okay this is simultaneously very unAmerican but also so fun?! Use French inspired recipes to replace American classics
Sandwichgiving where you make epic thanksgiving Sandwiches out of rolls followed by dessert
Overall this is a great party to host as a tradition for your friends every year or to try out if it is your first time hosting.
Have questions about hosting Thanksgiving? Drop them in the comments below!
